"Oh no, your infernal majesty. The Elves on this world are more like men than the fairies of Earth. They live long and seek to find knowledge, wealth and a good Habitat shop. Their most advanced science is that of war - they wield powerful bows which can staple a deer to a tree from a hundred yards distance, their strategems are renowned as the most cunning of any race on Bridland. The only serious disadvantage is that they live in trees, which have an unpleasant habit of burning down when a devil visits."

Asmodeus thought long and hard about this counsel, and of how he could turn the race of Elves to his own ways. And he conceived of a cunning plan.

"I know", he announced to the assembled throng, "we'll engage in some genetic experiments and crossbreed Elves and Devils. See what we get."

Asmodeus asked for some volunteers. He got them too; for although the devils were loathe to go down onto the pebble and even touch, let alone have sex with, a mortal race - it would not go well with those who did not have a damned good excuse if they didn't put themselves forward.

Naturally, the devils' breeding program had not been out in the open. They had snuck up on their intended partners and rogered them while they were stoned (Elves quite frequently got out of their boxes - they said it gave them inspiration in their ceaseless search for knowledge. But really they just got bored easily).

Time passed ...

The first of the new race was born. He was coal black, and more heavily built than the normally fair-skinned Elves. The mother was not happy: having the only black kid in the forest didn't appeal, so she tried to drown him. Well, more accurately the forest council tried to drown him - the mother just helped. They failed of course, otherwise this would be a very short story. The kid just floated off down the river and got washed up on a beach where he was found by a passing gypsy band. They took him in and named him George. The gypsies (in their innocence) thought the kid was just a funny coloured man.

As the child grew he sprouted hair of pure silver, and it became apparent that this was not your everyday dark skinned foundling. When George began to read people's minds and talk to his adopted parents without using his mouth, they really knew there was something funny going on.

Asmodeus just laughed.

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