Beauregard Anthrax McSponge: Y'know, I still get pandemonium gigs on the strength of
that track. Course, being the only session
pandemonium player in the British Isles helps too.
Great song, anyway. Great days. They don't make 'em
like that any more, do they? Mind if I skin up?
(22:44, Wed 03-Jul-2002)
Kayl: Well I don't know about that, but I know something that will please Stevie: the next song has no instruments, no sound effects, only voices. Indeed, Harmony Garden has always been one of my favourites. Especially that bit that reminds me of my times in Africa. You know the one, sounds a bit like a Masai hunting dance... Anyway, that mixed with the gentle strains that make you think of the sea always make me feel peaceful, you must agree?
(12:51, Thu 04-Jul-2002)
Prong: I was very pleased with the way Stairlift worked out. I think we managed to break the rule of meter without sacrificing fluency. I just wish we'd avoided that bohdran, I always wanted to use biscuit tins. [Stevie] "described sonic-experience one-upmanship" describes prog rock rather well, I think.
(13:44, Thu 04-Jul-2002)
Neville Griblick: The imagery in this song, it's very... it really speaks of a... er, it's an allegory for... uh... look, we were doing a lot of acid at the time.
(20:18, Thu 04-Jul-2002)
Dozy Polywhacker: Nah, me an Neville never did drugs really. He's just sayin' that and anyway my involvement with the "Babes Against Addition" campaign means I have to watch what I say. I do a lot of work for charities to help babes. Stairlift was inspired by a dodgy curry.
(08:20, Fri 05-Jul-2002)
Neville Griblick: ...I spiked it with acid.
(09:11, Fri 05-Jul-2002)
Babes Against Addition: Promoting the "Dumb Blonde" stereotype for the 21st
Century. Just say no to numeracy! Don't get smart, get
stupid!
(12:23, Sun 07-Jul-2002)
Dozy Polywhacker: Prolife Babes, Babes against the Bomb, Christian Babes, Babe Refief, I work with them all now. Stairlift was inspired by a dodgy curry spiked with dodgy acid. I sold Nev that acid. It was spiked with Persil. God that curry tasted crap. But oh man the colours of the bubbles. I still swear that was the best trip I've ever had. I had this vision of Alvin Stardust standing on the moon playing a banjo. It was at about this time that Prong and Nev became Jehovahs Witnesses.
(21:36, Mon 08-Jul-2002)
Neville Griblick: ...I paid off a local kid to do the doorknocking for me. Got a tax break on it, an' all.
(23:36, Mon 08-Jul-2002)
'Dumbo' Newton: Review for 'Thats the Big-Band Sound' magazine, August '81.
Our second encounter with the Prog-Jazz Ensemble from lovely North Bromsgrove, UK, leaves no doubt as to why they have been praised Hello magazine as one of that country’s most 'interesting musical developments'. The ensemble’s album, Cover Art Not Available', encompasses nearly sixty–nine minutes of formidable big–band whistle-and-piping, ably supervised by producer Dan Wanker and played by his earnest young protogees Griblick, Prong, Polywhacker et al. Two sessions were actually involved, with the first six tracks performed stoned, the last seven by the band pissed and stoned. The several personnel changes between the sessions are of no consequence, as the vitality and structural soundness of the music remain unimpaired no matter who’s seated in what chair. The later ensemble submits a slightly stronger program (my opinion) with terrific guest appearences by Peter Gabriel, Johnny Rotten and the entire Masai nation, plus Griblick's sumptuous arrangement of the standard “Stairlift to Heanor” (featuring John Noakes' well–modulated trombone), but its successors aren’t far behind, playing out their hand with a pair of aces, Polywhacker's fiery “Custard Bottle” (a.k.a. “Are We On?”) and Prong's definitive arrangement of “When You’re Smiling.” Also on the plate are sturdy compositions by Albert Shitforbrains, Helen Shapero and Polly Deaf. An interesting choral piece breaks the mood - "Harmony Garden" makes suggestions that the Spoons are heading into Barbershop territory. This is one of the better college–level big–band albums of the year, and easily recommended. ('D' N).
(14:44, Wed 10-Jul-2002)
Prong: I'd just like to say, as regards the Jehova's Witnesses, that this is something I've been meaning to clear up. Y'see, at the time, my tinnitus was becoming quite loud. (Something happened after the head-in-the-bass-drum incident at Manchester). Now, one afternoon I'm at home watching the telly and these two guys knock on the door. There's two of 'em, and they're holding a big leather-bound book exactly like the ones Owsley used to bind up his LSD blotters in. Now, remember, my tinnitus is bad. When they said "We're Jehova's Witnesses", I thought they said "Would ya help up with these?" And they held up these books. Well, of course I invited 'em in. And I had a religious experience, but not of the type I was expecting. I couldn't make them go away, I think it was the mushroom tea. Eventually, when playing Black Sabbath and eating The Gospel According To St. Mark didn't work, I joined the order to get rid of them. And it worked - I haven't heard from them since. Mind you, I haven't heard very much at all since Manchester.
(20:02, Wed 10-Jul-2002)
Neville Griblick: I wasn't going to let Prong get away with all the epiphanies. I joined the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Hare Krishna. It was a bugger remembering who believed what. I used to just make it up.
(09:11, Thu 11-Jul-2002)
matt:
Side 4, All: The Last Ride of the Tricycle
Spoons
Moon sets on the Land of Nod
Storm clouds gather, lightning strikes
Peasants pray to their Dark God
And the Spoons mount their trikes...
(10:20, Mon 15-Jul-2002)
Carmine:
Pounding along the heart
Osmosis'ing into the brain
Sorrow sweet it is to part
All begone only in name
(18:50, Mon 15-Jul-2002)
Kayl: Look out my son!
(22:04, Tue 16-Jul-2002)
Stevie: Mists rise on this moonlit night
Foulness wafting on the air
Dagon's Spawn rise from the bight
And the Spoons leave their lair...
(14:05, Wed 17-Jul-2002)
Bob the dog: (Dagon's Spawn?) Oh yeah, they leave their lair.
With a surreptitious pounding,
For those pedals they are pounding,
And the lighting is resounding,
For the pressure it is mounding,
And the kangaroos are (er) bounding...
The spoons they leave their lair...
(13:48, Thu 18-Jul-2002)
matt: Sun comes up on the Land of Nod
And peasants work the fields
They've sacrificed to their Dark God
But they don't hear the wheels...
(15:03, Thu 18-Jul-2002)
Kayl: At freguntious hightsThat block and lightsThey Crouch, humming fearful tunes,If 'tis not dayAt home do stayLest you should fallTo the withering callAnd the hunger of the Trycicle Spoons.
(18:35, Fri 19-Jul-2002)
matt: Ride, ye Spoons of the Herlathing!
WE RIDE! WE RIDE!
(07:49, Fri 26-Jul-2002)
Stevie: (the Herlathing) Oh yeah, they ride, they ride,
With a susurratous clicking,
For the chains they are a-clicking,
And the clock it is a-ticking,
And the oil it is a-wicking,
And the dogs they are (er) a-licking,
The Spoons they ride, they ride
(16:20, Fri 26-Jul-2002)
matt: (A short transitional interlude on lute and hurdy-gurdy introduces a change of pace)
In the shadow of the forest
Mother Mary tends her child
Wonders where her husband got to
In the dark'ning forest wild
Baby's crying
Pigs are flying
As a lullaby she croons
Oblivious to the distant tunes
That warn of the advancing Spoons
(17:34, Sat 03-Aug-2002)
Martha Farquar:
By the lappings of the river
Lazy boatmen feel the quiver
As the rough west winds deliver
Breaths of old typhoons.
Quickly, fired by old man's cunning
Drag their boats in, off and running,
Knowing well the doom that's coming
With the Tricycle Spoons.
(17:17, Wed 07-Aug-2002)
Stevie: Arboreal yeilds to urban
Gath'ring in the deep of night
On the ouskirts of the city
Spoons invade the urban bight
Guard-dog's growling
Banshees Howling
Wind moans from diseased bassoons,
Sweeps foetid litter into dunes,
The plague-stench herald of the Spoons.
(21:03, Wed 07-Aug-2002)
matt: In the darkness of the ghetto
Rumours of the Spoons' libretto
Cut as deep as a stiletto
And a dazed streetwalker swoons.
Crack lords in the pampered villas
Send the call to their gorillas
Guard themselves with hired killers
Fodder for the deadly Spoons.
(11:46, Thu 08-Aug-2002)
Stevie: Look from gutter to the heavens
Corp'rate angels sleep on high
Sleep disturbed by awful nightmares
Howling winds seem heavens cry
Façade crumbling
Thunder grumbliing
Priv'leged few will not escape
Inevitable psychic rape
The Spoons are come, in evil shape!
(15:28, Thu 08-Aug-2002)
Carmine: *a single violin sounds a long, high, note*
But what are we to do?
Now the day has come
And what are we to do?
It's done, it's done, it's done
*long guitar solo punctuated by screams*
(15:18, Fri 09-Aug-2002)
Bob the dog: Sharp change of tempo, electronic drum beat and samples -Pollywhacker grabs the mike *scratch- scratch*
Hey Mr DJ get yer Wocket from yer Pocket theres a rocket goin' down an' I fink it's gonna crown the heads of state. I hate the wait for the plate of sausages and mash 'cos the bangers gonna smash the stash of hash I rash ly hid in my moustashe. My name is Dozy P, I'm the baddest rapperee yer see I am so mean and my underwear is clean and yes I confess it comes from BHS...
(17:45, Tue 20-Aug-2002)
Stevie: [Sounds of gunshots as Charles Shaar Stevie shoots Polywhacker in the stomach, then Bob the dog in the foot] No Hip-Hop!
(18:09, Tue 20-Aug-2002)
Pollywhacker: Owch! (undoes shirt to reval bullet proof jacket). Every rapper should have one. Now, where was I...?
(10:44, Tue 27-Aug-2002)
Birming ham Symphony Orchestra: Part of *Sugarplum Fairy*. (As used by Cadburys)... Product placement.
(10:48, Tue 27-Aug-2002)
matt: [Pause]
Then in the silent aftermath
Chill winds stir across that place
Where last the Spoons carved their dark path
And empty ghosts deprived of grace
Shelter from the moon's harsh face
-- Every one's a fruit and nut case.
(11:27, Wed 28-Aug-2002)
Frank Muir: Mmmm!
(14:29, Wed 04-Sep-2002)
Robert Robinson: Well that seems to be that. Ding!
Anyone fancy a drink? There's a nice pub just up the road, across from Mornington Crescent.
(18:22, Thu 05-Sep-2002)
Game won by Robert Robinson
Reginald "Albatross" Bunt: Shit, man, sorry, I left the room for a while and it looks like the tape ran out...
(19:22, Thu 05-Sep-2002)
Prong: Eh? What? Can ya turn the cans up, I can't hear an effin' thing.
(22:45, Thu 05-Sep-2002)
Griblick: Hang about, what happened to Acts III and IV? It says quite clearly on the back of this serviette: "Act III: Spoons destroyed by..." Hmm, that looks like tomato juice. Fuck it, man, it's too early in the morning. I need at least six Bloody Marys before I can think about this.
(11:35, Fri 06-Sep-2002)
Polywhacker: That's it, man, we're just gonna have to split up. Call the Hammersmith Odeon and tell 'em the show's off.
(11:39, Fri 06-Sep-2002)
Blind Lemonhead Kayl: I'm thinking of starting a solo career but I'll explain this further in my interview which will be broadcasted on all major News programs.
(18:23, Fri 06-Sep-2002)
Berthold Berrilinger: Which one of you bastards cut my harp strings?
(23:48, Fri 06-Sep-2002)
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