11 miles/52:34 (4 miles)

Well, that was just dreadful.

The worst of it is that I felt bad even as I went out the door this morning, although this is common enough when I'm bullying my body into running at such foolish times in the morning so I did not take it as an unusual sign. And when I got to the start point and went through the warm-up I actually felt pretty good (in common with those other times when I have managed to launch myself out of the door before my body sabotages my intentions). I was even looking forward to the run. Although I would confess some misgivings about the route, it wasn't Terwilliger plus a little bit so I was happy.

That optimism did not last long.

I settled into a reasonable pace quite quickly, although I found it was more effort than it ought to have been. I should have slowed down to deal with this, but part of my misgivings about the route were that I was not sure where we were going so I felt that I needed to keep up with the group. And I had decided, rather foolishly, not to wear my HRM so I didn't know just how bad things really were.

A mile in I was feeling pretty good - glad to be running! But I was slowing down despite myself and was definitely working too hard for the results I was getting.

Coming off the Hawthorne bridge I started to feel bad. Not actually sick, but even running down a slope I was noticing that there was nothing in my legs and I was basically out of control. Even climbing up the slight hill at the base of the Hawthorne ramp to get back onto the Esplanade path was hard.

I actually gave up after two miles, maybe 2¼ miles, just at the point where we turned off the Esplanade path and onto the route heading away from the river. I was angry at myself for not persisting, but I felt empty. There was just nothing to run with. My legs were still physically capable, but there was no energy or fight left in me.

I turned around and went back.

I ran parts of the return trip, mainly to get back more quickly, but I walked a fair bit and when I did I felt listless and flat. I felt better as soon as I got back to the car, which tells me firstly that I was relieved not to be running in a bad situation any more, and secondly that I had judged my turnaround pretty accurately.

When I got home I was still angry at myself for not completing the run. It is conceivable that I might have finished it, but I would not have finished it well and would have made myself ill again for the rest of the weekend, which is bad when we are going away tomorrow and still needed to pack. Rationally, then, I know that it was the right thing to do to stop when I did, although emotionally I am still disappointed.

I am also worried. Today was my last chance before going away to get in a long run and it didn't happen. My original plan was to run during our travels around Utah, but I was never intending to run more than three or four miles (apart from a six or seven miler when we are visiting Jen's mother).

Jen is being tremendous about this, though. She recognises how much work I have put in on training for the marathon and doesn't want to see it ruined at the last any more than I do, so I may well do another longer run in a week or so. It won't be the 21 I missed today, but it'll be another two hour run I should think. And it will be at altitude, which will be helpful.

Today's run was utterly pitiful, but it's hardly the end. I just need more rest than I had thought to get over my recent episode.

Posted by Dunx at September 4, 2004 03:55 PM